The Wine of Star Wars Part II: The Empire Kicks Back

Due to massive public outcry demanding more, we bring you another batch of time-wasting foolishness.

The Gungan Army Sea Smoke Botella "The enemy has this massive droid army, and we've got - what? Glowing balls and catapults? Weesa need some kind of advantage, and the morning fog is it" said Captain Tarpals. "Plus, it's pretty cool to come rolling in all 'Throne of Blood' style."

Darth Maul Gnarly Head "Yeah, joke about the head...very original" the visibly exasperated Dathomiri Nightbrother declared. "'Is your Mom a crocodile?', 'You have a little something on your face'...yep, heard 'em all." He quickly followed up, "I will take the wine, however."

Aks Moe Holy Cow Chardonnay "I'm not actually a cow, I'm a diplomat and Senator from the glorious planet of Malastare" the three-eyed cow was heard to say (or is it 'herd' to say?)

Luke Skywalker The Dead Arm Shiraz "So right after my 'Dad' cuts off my hand, Solo brings me this bottle of wine as a gag. But it's actually pretty tasty! Han can make fun of me all he wants, but I'm really strong in that arm now" Skywalker remarked. "And I think the princess was checking me out. You know, she's pretty cute...and I think we have a lot in common!"

C-3PO Pink Champagne What else would C-3PO drink?

---

Jeffrey Dale Starr is a wine enthusiast, oil painter, and owner of mobile software company Purple Falcon.

The Wine of Star Wars

Whether taking a respite at a Mos Eisley cantina or rubbing shoulders with the hoi polloi at a Coruscant nightclub, the characters in Star Wars are going to get thirsty.

And when they do, what will be their wine of choice?

This question, which has befuddled the masses for decades, we will attempt to answer below (feel free to offer your insights.)

The Rancor Sleeping Giant Chardonnay "Yeah, I guess you could call me a 'sleeping giant'... at least when THOSE KIDS AREN'T DRIVING ME NUTS!!", the rancor declared in a haggard voice. "Don't get me wrong, I love being a father. But oy vey!". The Dathomir native is actually quite the oenophile and has a fondness for the 2010 vintage in particular (yeah, yeah..."a long time ago in a galaxy blah blah blah" - it's some kind of time travel trick, alright?)

Bail Prestor Organa World's End Wavelength "For some reason, the name of this wine just speaks to me", the Alderaan resident declared. The Jonathan Maltus signature vintage is a favorite of the senator. "I just get a feeling of serenity when I have a glass of...sorry - I need to go...there's a weird light in the sky..."

Boba Fett Bounty Hunter Cabernet It takes a fine, dry Cabernet to ease the stress of a Mandalorian warrior on a rainy Kamino afternoon. After taking a sip, Mr. Fett commented "Ahhh....that hits the spot. I feel like freezing someone in carbonite. Anyone will do. It's a good day!"

The Death Star Luna Vineyards Pinot Grigio Ever since he was mistaken for a moon, The Death Star has been obsessed with the heavenly bodies (including drinking this fine wine from Napa Valley). "Here I was...content to be a technological terror. But to be confused with a moon? Wow- what an honor. I was just speechless", Mr. Star remarked. Shortly after this interview, The Death Star was blown to bits due to a womp rat sized defect.

C-3PO Pink Champagne What else would C-3PO drink?

---

Jeffrey Dale Starr is a wine enthusiast, oil painter, and owner of mobile software company Purple Falcon.